According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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