so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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