we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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