I think I died a long time ago.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
