You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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