You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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