What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
