I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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