The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
