When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
