final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
