i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
