i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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