So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
