dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
