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I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
