fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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