we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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