How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't think brook has ever known best
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
