He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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