We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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