Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
