Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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