Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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