your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
