Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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