What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
