i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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