): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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