Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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