i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
