Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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