Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
