if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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