Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
