i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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