I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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