my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
