you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
