OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
