a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
