but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
