Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
