Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
