i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
