return my video game
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
