ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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