Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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