hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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