meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
